I Knew He Wasn't a Believer Part 2 (Concluding Part)

If you haven't read the First Part, read it here

When I'd dried my eyes, I found Mom in the kitchen, washing the dinner dishes.

"I'm sorry," I said sheepishly, picking up a towel to dry the dishes.

My mom turned toward me. "It's okay," she said putting her hand on mine. "I'm going to trust your judgment on this. But I think you two better watch a movie here instead of going out."

"It's a deal," I said, then added, "don't believe everything Kristina says."

She didn't seem reassured. "I just hope you're making a good choice."

On Friday night, Brad arrived right at seven o'clock. As we sat on the couch after the movie, he told me he wanted to turn his life around.

"I got mixed up with some pretty heavy drinking and even some drugs," he confessed. "What can I say? I really liked to party. I hit bottom when I was put on probation. My parents about killed me."

My heart leapt. I was right about him! He wasn't the same guy everyone kept warning me about. He really did plan to change his life. "So you're not going to party anymore?" I asked hopefully.

"No," he promised. He squeezed my hand and smiled. "And you're the perfect person to help me stay on the straight and narrow."

As the weeks passed, Brad made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. He made me feel like he needed me, and I knew if I prayed hard enough for him, he'd turn into the person that I wanted him to be—someone who shared my faith, someone I could respect for his commitment to God.

Since he didn't go to church, I started dreaming up a plan to invite him to my youth group. I was sure it wouldn't be long before Brad and I would go to church together and maybe even start a Bible study.

But in all my planning and dreaming, I failed to notice something: I'd slowly drifted away from my friends in youth group. And the time I used to spend with God and reading the Bible, I was now spending with Brad. And when I wasn't with Brad, I was thinking about him and daydreaming about our time together.

At lunch a few weeks later, Debby told me Brad was planning on throwing a party that weekend.

"Oh, Deb, that's just a rumor," I defended him automatically. Brad hadn't mentioned a party to me. "He promised me he wouldn't do that stuff anymore." Still, I felt a twinge in my heart. Was Brad being completely honest with me? Was I even being honest with myself?

Deb put down her sandwich and shook her head. "You know what, Amy? It's not just a rumor. I heard him say it myself," she continued, frustration seeping into her tone. "Just face it, it's true. Brad drinks. Brad does drugs." She paused. "And Brad lies," she said pointedly.

"Deb, stop," I said, raising my voice to match hers. "You don't even know him."

"Maybe not," she said. "But I know you. You're not studying much anymore, your sister says you fight with your family all the time, and you keep blowing off our youth group meetings."

"I skipped out on youth group a couple of times. So what?" I said. "Brad needed to talk."

Debby shook her head. "Is being with a popular jerk this important to you?" She picked up her lunch and left.

I didn't want to admit it to her, but deep down I knew Deb was right. I had changed since I'd begun dating Brad. And I didn't like who I was becoming.

Brad hadn't told me anything about having a party. But when he didn't ask me out on our regular Friday night date, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I spent that evening by myself. When I called Brad early Saturday morning, his mom answered the phone and said that she and Brad's dad had come home early—right in the middle of the party. Brad wasn't going to be talking on the phone or going anywhere any time soon.

After I hung up, I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over my head. I wanted to disappear.

After several minutes of feeling sorry for myself, I came out from under the covers and prayed. "Lord," I said. "I'm really confused. I thought you were using me to change Brad. I thought our relationship was part of your plan to save him. Instead I feel like my life is unraveling. Please give me strength to do what's right."

On Monday morning, God answered my prayer in a way I hadn't expected. Brad had placed a break-up note in my locker. Our relationship was over. It hurt, but I knew it was for the best.

Later that day, I apologized to Deb and my family and asked God for forgiveness. I knew I could have avoided all that heartbreak if only I had listened to the people who cared about me most—and if I had followed God's Word. Now I understand why his Word tells us to "stay away from people who are not followers of the Lord" (2 Corinthians 6:14, CEV).

It's not that God didn't want to use me as a good influence in Brad's life, and it's not that he wants me—or anyone—to stay completely away from nonbelievers. But there were too many problems with having a romantic relationship with Brad—problems that came from having two different sets of values.

I don't know how far I would have gone to please Brad. I'm grateful that God removed him from my life before I had to think about it anymore. After that relationship ended, I decided that God would be my first priority—not dating. I also promised myself that I'd only date Christians who were committed to living their faith. I wanted a healthy relationship that pleased God.