Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

I never knew my dad. He and my mom divorced before I turned 1.

After my mom and I moved to the United States from El Salvador, she remarried, and I finally felt like I had a family. But my relationship with my stepdad was never good.

I desired love from a father. I wanted that special father-daughter relationship. I wanted to be loved, so I looked to create my identity outside of my family.

I needed the approval of those around me.

But nothing filled that hole.

My junior year of high school, my mom and stepdad got divorced.

I was angry, confused, hurt and unwanted. I turned to boys, alcohol and drugs to find approval. Substances became my escape.

My need for acceptance was only met with hurt. It was during this time that I was raped.

I was at my lowest point. There was no one I could turn to. I desperately wanted a father to protect and love me.

I felt worthless and became convinced this was all life had to offer.

During my second week of college, I was invited to Cru at the University of Central Florida, where I signed up for a small group. I left feeling surprisingly good.

I listened as the other women joyfully spoke of a “Savior.” I wanted what they had.

Each week I attended the small group, I learned more from these women. The gospel began to make sense to me, and it was only a few months before I was ready to make the decision to follow Christ. It was over Christmas break that I became aware of the weight of sin in my life and my need for a savior.

It was as if a blindfold had been removed from my eyes. I was able to see and understand why I needed Jesus and that He loved me. It was then that I accepted Christ into my life.

I’ve come to understand that I have a Heavenly Father who is crazy about me. He genuinely knows me and cares for me!

Because of Christ’s death on the cross, I have been forgiven and live a life of freedom in Christ. I no longer turn to temporary things to find my value.

I now know that my worth and identity lie fully in my Heavenly Father.