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Let's Talk About SEX - Part 2

I started a series yesterday on sex. As expected, I've received countless reaction (both positive and negative) and more importantly, folks all over Africa has reached out to me to thank me for writing about the topic and they want to know more. Another person told me it's immoral to talk about sex , I laughed. Some feel uncomfortable with it, some feel liberated. If you want to reach out to me or have any questions, you could send me a email on thrivekonsult@gmail.com. Of course every mail is treat confidentially.

Before I continue, I would like to state that this series are entirely my views and you may not necessarily agree with everything but I still urge you to read with an open mind.

I started with reasons why people have sex and the consequences (positive and negative) of having sex. I stated that there is a right way of having sex.

As humans, we all have sexual organs, sexual drive (libido) and sexual feelings. It is perfectly normal to have sexual feelings. Sex though a good thing has been used wrongly. Sex is meant to be between two committed married partners but these days, it has been abused in so many ways.

The Right Way
There are Pre-marital sex, marital sex and extra-marita sex.
These simply means:

  • Pre-marital sex - Sex before marriage
  • Marital sex - Sex within the confines of marriage
  • Extra-marital sex - Sex outside marriage I.e. when married people have sex outside their marriage.


Among the three way I listed above, the right way is the Marital Sex. Sex is meant to be enjoyed among married partners. Why is it so? Some think that just the religious way. Not at all.... Having sex with someone you are not married to causes emotional attachment which can unnecessarily brings emotional burden for you. Sex is not just an ordinary activity, it's an emotional one.

Which is why it is always advised that because you are in a relationship (not marriage), it's best to avoid sex, if you don't and you eventually do not get to marry your sex partner, you created yourself a whole lot of emotional distress. This is one major reasons why break-up is hard on some folks.

The right time and way to have sex is during marriage, it removes emotional blackmail or distress, you're having sex with someone that you're committed to.

I received so many questions on sex, some of which includes:

  • Why do people have sex before marriage and sex outside marriage? 
  • Is there are many married folks that are not enjoying sex in their marriage, what is the solution? 
  • 'I'm a sexually active person and I'm not yet married, what should I do? 
  • 'I'll be getting married to the guy I'm having sex with, why should I stop having it with him now? 
  • Why should only the married people have sex?
  •  I was raped, does that mean I wouldn't enjoyed sex when I'm married?


Tommorrow, I will be writing more about the prevalence of pre-marital sex. This is a series, so many things will be talked about, kindly follow me on the journey as we talk about SEX.

The more we know, the better we become.

Do have a great day! Stay safe and Stay home...

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